The Expresses "Pull Out of Europe" Crusade is Just Like that Bit in Braveheart, But Quite a Bit Shitter.

The Daily Expresses petition to Downing Street about pulling out of Europe has taken a distinctly "you will not take our freedom" sort of slant, but considerably more shitter than Braveheart was. They had Mel Gibson and a huge army pretending it was the olden days, standing in a field. The Express had to make do with a load of gaudy bin bags full of petitions and a self conscious looking man pretending to be St George and holding a shield made out of cardboard (and I bet this was what he went into media for.). Hollywood this aint! To be fair though they recruited a small army though. They may not have had woad smeared over their faces, or dirty hair and mucky beards (though they should have done this in fancy dress, it would have been well funny.), and an Irish guy with pluck. No all we got was a few dowdy looking Eurosceptic MP's, an Express columnist who was probably there on pain of sacking, and one of the readers who had obviously been paid to turn up and offered a free pub tea into the bargain for showing up.

So far so shit. Why do I even comment on this ridiculous PR stunt? Well it is the wording of the article that tickled me. The Express bigged up the whole thing with this ludicrous comment that shows they haven't quite figured out how this democracy thing works.

"DAVID Cameron was yesterday given the clearest message yet that the UK should leave the European Union."

Hell, we aren't going the way of Egypt are we?

"Editor Peter Hill led a delegation to hand over the bulging sacks of petition coupons signed by 373,000 of our loyal readers."

Er. No. Cancel the threatening flybys of the capital.

373,000. Fucking hell I mean a skateboarding cat on youtube can get more hits than that! I actually checked to see what sort of thing could get 373,000 people to be vaguely interested in something, by getting a comparative viewing figure on youtube, and a video called "I'm Nicki Minaj!! Ask Shane #26" actually topped that by a few thousand. (It's well over 400,000 at the time of writing.) Yes a spoof video of a Noel Gallagher lookalike wearing a Lady Gaga wig, and dancing to a comedy rendition to the tune of "Video Killed the Radio Star" with some camp Jango Fetts as backing dancers (honest) drummed up more interest than a political campaign by a piss poor national newspaper. Why doesn't Richard Desmond ask Shane to do a comedy video of himself dressed up as Gwen Stefani, accompanied by some Hobbits, who take it in turns to shit on a large pretend Euro, whilst dancing to backing music of Hazee Fantasees "John Wayne is Big Leggy" that has had the lyrics changed to "Fuck you, Hermann Van Rumphoy" It could work.

I mean seriously for a national paper crusade, 373,000 signatories for a petition is pathetic. the Express has a daily circulation of around 640,000. That's just circulation. It is reckoned total readership is roughly 2.5 people per single paper. So about 1.6 million perhaps saw this crusade. There were apparently four petition cut outs per paper, so it isn't a case of to few slips to go round. Hell one person could potentially post all four to have four fake signatories. How the hell is this a clear message to David Cameron that we should cut our losses and leave the EU? On the basis of a petition signed by 0.74 percent of the UK population aged over 18. That's the level of popular support the Monster Raving Loony party had for it's policy to paint grey squirrels red to balance the numbers out a bit! Not a monster blow to the establishment that the Express editorials are claiming was it?

I had to laugh at this comment by a Downing Street spokesmen:

"A Downing Street spokeswoman said: “We will respond in the usual way.”

Which translates to "We'll wait till you've gone home and then we'll burn the bloody lot of them."

The Daily Express Get Britain Out Of the EU Crusade.

The Daily Express has gone where the Sun and Mail have yet to tread, and openly called for Britain to leave the E.U completely in one of its daft "crusades" that it comes out with. I'd imagine this "crusade" was cooked up by Dirty Des and Nigel Farage over a pint somewhere. Desmond probably reckoned an anti - Europe theme would appeal to the readership, though how long this crusade lasts will remain to be seen. These things in the Express tend to last as long as the jaded people writing it can be bothered to keep them going. Though it seems that the Express is pretty keen on this one, so keen that they even made up a fake statistic for the front page (The Eurosceptic Dan Hannon says the figure is roughly 55% want out, which sounds much more accurate.) Whether this is the start of the deliberate demise of a paper with declining readers, that is sent out to die vocally, becoming a single issue lobbying piece for it's proprietor is any ones guess. The paper interviewed a few random members of the public about whether they agreed with the Expresses stance (though it is not that clear how they came to the 99% figure), the responses given showed that those interviewed knew as much about the EU as I know about the TV show Ugly Betty (AKA fuck all), which is a bit worrying if ever the call for a referendum ever came up. Everyone seems to have strong opinions about it but do they really know all that much about it? I have to wonder whether there is a strong vein of practical opposition to the EU or is there a strong seam of possible xenophobia in the UK towards the continent. Not the best basis to oppose it. I would be genuinely interested to see how the Express readers would rate their reasons for wanting to leave the EU (of course the ones who do take that view.) in order of what they were most hacked off about. A list of stuff like:

1. THEY'D RATHER WE WERE IN NAFTA

2. THE EUROPE OF COMPETING, EXCLUSIVE NATION STATES LEADS TO BETTER AND MORE PRACTICAL GOVERNANCE.

3. THE E.U IS TOO PROTECTIONIST, TOO SOCIALLY DEMOCRATIC, AND TOO INTRUSIVE ON NATIONAL SOVEREIGNTY.

4. THE C.A.P IS THE STUPIDEST POLICY EVER INVENTED BY A HUMAN BEING.

5. HERMAN VAN ROMPOY LOOKS A BIT WEIRD.

6. I'M INCREDIBLY NOSTALGIC FOR A TIME WHEN YOU COULD BUY ELECTRICAL GOODS WITHOUT A PLUG FITTED.

7. THESE PEOPLE MADE WELSH AN OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE E.U. WHAT'S ALL THAT ABOUT?

8. BENDY BANANAS. NUFF SAID

9. I DON'T LIKE FOREIGNERS STICKING THEIR NOSE IN JOHN BULLS AMPLE GIRTH.

10. THE E.U INVENTED YOOMAN RIGHTS. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, DO-GOODERY AND LESBIAN GYPSY OUTREACH WORKERS, OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT BARRY DOWN THE PUB SAYS.

11. IT HAS FRENCH AND GERMANS IN IT.

My own hunch is that the ones at the bottom of the list will be the top of many a Express readers concern list. My own response to whether Britain's membership of the EU is a good thing or a bad thing is -depends on who you are. It really only affects people like me indirectly. If I was a big ultra free market proponent then I'd probably not like it too much. The other main anti-EU argument about the sovereignty issue, is a little exaggerated. I mean some of the talk about how the EU is trying to take over Britain when we have one of the largest and most powerful economies, and the largest military force of all the members, I'd like to see how they could seriously threaten us as much as some say. I'm sorry to say that a lot of anti EU sentiment seems largely down to a lot of Little England insularity, a purely emotional reaction that is not based on any practical objections. To quote Johann Hari:

"I find it hard to believe Eurosceptics when they say they are genuinely concerned about the erosion of national sovereignty, rather than dislike of Europeans. If they were really worried about sovereignty, surely they would occasionally complain about the fact that foreign multinationals have bullied sovereign British governments into whittling corporation tax and workers' rights to almost nothing.

Or they would complain that large parts of Britain's sovereign army - including its nuclear weapons - cannot be used without American authorisation. Or that large parts of our incredibly powerful media are accountable to foreign billionaires who shamelessly use their newspapers to pursue their own business interests rather than Britain's (or - wild idea! - a human rights agenda).

In fact, the totally independent nation state - which is so selectively fetishised by Eurosceptics - was always a myth. Nation states deal with the world as they find it, with all sorts of messy bargains and ad- hoc pooling of sovereignty."

I think that really sums it up very well. Pulling out of Europe - and I think a referendum could be easily possible, Cameron will have to face his Eurosceptic MP's one day, who knows after the Lib Dems are out of the scene next election? - is a BIG deal and not to be taken lightly. The case has to be put before us all, rational arguments for or against (I personally think there's more in the for camp. But since they can be never be bothered to do this, the anti camp will lead the debate, and do so.). If you only dislike the EU cause Britain ruled the waves once, and we hate the French etc.. Buy yourself a poster of a big bussomed girl in a Union Jack bikini to masturbate furiously to, because it may be a bit too late if we slam the door on the continent and perhaps retrospectively wish we hadn't been so hasty to do so, a few years down the line.

That Little bit of the Fifteenth Century, Right Here in the Twenty first.

We tend to think that religious leaders; who are such shrinking violets that they have to imprison a teacher for calling a teddy Muhammed, or can claim that loose women cause earthquakes, and not be laughed off the face of the earth. Or incite people to set fire to stuff over some daft cartoons in a shitty Danish paper no-one reads, is a trait exclusive to the Muslim world. A sign of religious lunacy unplugged, a theocratic zeal (by the minority) that has been largely banished from the once Christian Europe. So it's going to be obvious that a 26 year old pop star; who is looking at two years in jail for blasphemy, for saying dinosaurs are more plausible than parts of a holy book, has happened in Saudi. Wrong! This pop star,- Dorota Rabczewska; is from Poland. Yes in the godless, athiestic wastelend of Europe, it is potentially possible (the article this post is on about is highly partial, so its 20/20 how likely she actually faces jail.) to be imprisoned for "disrespecting religion" She actually said:

“it is hard to believe in something written by people who drank too much wine and smoked herbal cigarettes.”

Oooh Dangerous...

This got the response from a Polish fundie, worthy of Stephen Green of Christian Voice.

"Ryszard Nowak is chairman of the Committee for the Defence Against Sects. This group exists to “protect Christian values”

It is clear that Doda thinks that the Bible was written by drunkards and junkies. I believe that she committed a crime and offended the religious feelings of both Christians and Jews."

No? She challenged an idea. It's called freedom of speech.

If you think this is just sabre rattling, it becomes more disturbing when we hear:

"The couple aren’t the first to be brought to court over offending Christians. In 2003, artist Dorota Nieznalska was convicted of “insulting religious feeling” and sentenced to six months of “restricted freedom” — that is, travel restrictions — and 20 hours/month of community service. Why?

In 2002, Nieznalska created an art installation called “Passion”. Part of the installation offended Christians.

League of Polish Families members attacked Nieznalska verbally and physically at the Gdansk gallery where her Passion installation was being exhibited last year. The work, an exploration of masculinity and suffering, shows a cross on which a photograph of a fragment of a naked male body, including the genitalia, has been placed. The League sued the artist. In July 2003, a court found Nieznalska guilty of “offending religious feelings.” It sentenced her to half a year of “restriction of freedom” (she was specifically banned from leaving the country) and ordered her to do community work and pay all trial expenses. When the judge read the sentence, League members packing the courtroom applauded ecstatically. The artist has been pursuing legal appeal to get the sentence overturned on free speech grounds."

Whether it is just pure shock value, or whatever. It is appalling that an EU member can restrict travel and impose community service. -For an artist who superimposed a willy on a cross. No-one was harmed, a victimless crime, and you get treated as if you had shoplifted. This is the problem with curtailment of freedom of speech, especially vis a vis religion. If they can get "offended" at this, and get them prosecuted, what next? You can bet that, empowered; - they will find something else to censor. A disturbing cycle. The article ends with this interesting, if slightly shouty summation.

"How can Europeans cry foul when Muslims are offended by a cartoon, when they themselves press charges and demand imprisonment over something as simple as a pop star making negative statements about their religion?

Blasphemy laws are an offense to anyone who values liberty and intellectual freedom. They are a tool used by religious fundamentalists to silence nonbelievers. Fundamentalists of different religions do not use the laws to silence one another (such as Christians vs. Islamists); no, they are used solely against the secularist. Maybe it’s time for the secularists to start suing** the religionists!"

** I know he's being sarcastic, but better to shoot down these peoples "arguments"with debate, than call in the lawyers. If you have to immediately do that, then you must have pretty lame foundations.

Take to the skies.

Well it looks like Lord Adonis has announced that all UK airports are back in business again. Which is good news for holiday makers, those stranded, plane spotters and airline companies. It probably isn't so welcome by those on the Heathrow / Gatwick /Manchester airport flight paths, Greenpeace and people with a phobia of flying. But it does seem to draw a line under a situation that uniquely left Europe without the ability to use (pretty much all of) air travel since about the early 20th century.

It's been a funny old week without the sound of jet engines, or the presence of vapour trials a few miles up. The stranded passengers that were caught up in it (my own parents couldn't go away on holiday.) seem to have pretty much taken it on the chin, resigned that it is just one of those things. It also gave several tabloid writers an excuse to bemoan the "health and safety, nanny state, PC, whatever; gone mad Britain" despite the fact that most of Europe was under lock down. We also had attempts to blame Gordon Brown for geological phenomena. Lame ass jokes about Iceland giving us ash not cash, which wasn't funny when I first heard it, and gets exponentially rubbisher on repeated hearings. Lastly it brought out all the armchair speculators, saying it was an overreaction. Those who had the advantage of subjective "good old common sense", and not the responsibility for passenger welfare. So I think it's fitting that perhaps the last of the articles we will get on it is this slightly barmy one by Harry Phibbs. It seems that the EU has used it as a plan to steal good old British Airspace (airspace is; for obvious reasons, quite a transnational affair. Making it more parochial would be a headache for Air Traffic Control, to put it mildly.) with the "elf n safety zealots." Phibbs comes to this conclusion that it was all a bit of a waste of time, with this priceless observation.

"Safety first,’ is a powerful mantra. But looking up at the sky it appeared safe enough to me. No ash to be seen."

Truly an embodiment of the spirit of the scientific method. Harry asks rhetorically; which professionals can we trust. The answer should probably start off with, not Harry Phibbs.