Liz Jones Shopping Bill

We've mentioned Liz Jones financial troubles before on here, and not content to give this dead horse one more flog of the whip; I learned that someone at the Guardian had ran a short, highlighting; from her previous chronicles on her mission to blow zillions on shite, why she may have landed herself in the position she is now. I won't link the article as it is worth listing them in the post itself. To paraphrase Richard Littlejohn, you really couldn't make this shit up.
So here we go. The Liz Jones guide to worshiping on the alter of overpriced, bullshit tat.

1.) BAT SANCTUARY. £26 000 (How?! Why?! What on? A fucking Batmobile, and camp rubber suit?)

2.) MARKS AND SPARKS ORGANIC PRAWNS FOR THE CATS. £400 PER MONTH.


3.) DRESS. £4000. (She figures she spends more on this type of crap than one of the members of Girls Aloud.)


4.) WHEELBARROW REPAIRS. £95 (Its a metal box with a wheel attached? FFS!)



5.) WATER BILL £270 per quarter. (At first not too eccentric. But not when she has a well, and doesn't drink tap water at all, but some bottled water with a stupid name.)


6.) SPECIAL STEEL FRIDGE. £3000 (It should be able to re-animate meat products back to life, and double up as a stasis device to sit out fall out in the event of a nuclear war for that cost)


7.) SHOES £450 (Nuff said.)


8.) SPECIAL TOOTHPASTE £8.95 (Special Toothpaste. Are you fucking kidding me?)


9.) HOLIDAY IN MOZAMBIQUE. £26,000 (Includes private jet and business class.)


10.) SHED PRESENT. £530 (A present for her god son. I'm not even going to figure that one.)



GRAND TOTAL OF.-



£60 753.95p



Now I hope that her less well off readers haven't been sending her money after her SOS column. They would be better off telling her to flog the three grand fridge for a start, to pay off her debts. But if these accounts are true, I think I can see that little issue of why she might be in the mess she is in. Ho hum...