A Level Cliches

Today is A - Level results day, and for the 29th year in a row the pass rate has gone up, and for 13 years the amount of A grades have also increased. This being the case, we know this allows the press to wheel out a few annual results day cliches that I tried to list in full here, what with August being a slack season news wise, and the right wing press being indulgent in a bit of generational bashing - well that's an added bonus! So with this in mind, I decided to a bit of "cliche bingo" to see which of my predictions got printed. I didn't get them all, but like many students today; I was impressed with the results I got.


1.) PICTURE OF THREE POSH LOOKING GIRLS JUMPING UP IN THE AIR CLUTCHING THEIR RESULTS PAPER FULL OF STRAIGHT A'S.

If we only relied on the press coverage we'd think that only 7 lads in the country ever passed exams at all. As usual, no ugly girls ever pass exams at all. There must be some Logan's Run for mingers going on in our sixths forms!

This is a well known cliche, and the blog below has collected a load of pictures of pretty posh girls getting their results. So I award myself a zillion points so far.
http://sexyalevels.tumblr.com/

4.) PRECOCIOUS KID PASSES EXAM.

Self explanatory. More points.

6.) THEY'RE GETTING EASIER.

Now was there really any chance of this one getting missed? I predicted the following being brought up.

*"A-Levels were once the gold standard".

*"New Labours attempt to get half of people in university." and "social engineering"

*"grade inflation."

I don't personally think A-levels are a walk in the park these days. But predicting the cliched narratives of a Mail editorial certainly are. They truly were the gift that kept on giving here:

*"But what does it tell you about our ‘gold standard’ exams, when some 3,500 students who win three straight As today are expected to be rejected by universities?"

Gold standard. Ding.

*"For 13 years, Labour cynically raised their hopes, tinkering with the exam system to cast a rosy light on its own record, while promising to find university places for half the nation’s school-leavers."

"But that attainment gap will not be closed the Labour way – simply by disguising it or rigging the university admissions system, in a botched attempt at social engineering."

Labour; 50 percent in uni. Social engineering. Ding. Ding.

"How is anyone to distinguish between the brilliant and the merely excellent, when at least 60,000 papers are predicted to be awarded the new A* supergrade for scores of more than 90 per cent?"

Inflating grades. Ding!

Oh yeah, they try and shirk off that they are not belittling the students, with this opening statement, and other lame platitudes to duck out of their argument. (which is really just a rehash of the "I'm not racist but...", put into another context.)

"With their required grades achieved and their university places secure, the Mail offers every one of them our warmest congratulations."

they're still a piece of piss though!

"The Mail has nothing but admiration for those who have scored top grades."

Bollocks.

Well it's GCSE results next week. Same old score then. Oh well, eyes down.